I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
