I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my liver is dry heaving
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
