Porn is love you can see.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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