I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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