never play flip cup with pint glasses
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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