How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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