did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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