I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
