Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
