It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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