Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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