Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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