The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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