Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
