Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
