Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
