Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
