Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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