i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
