she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
pray to the hookup gods
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
