i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize