you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
