You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
