even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
