Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
