dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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