what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
