I think i peed on brittanys purse
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
