Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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