well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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