Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
