I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
