Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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