So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
