Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
