I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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