There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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