We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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