How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
