Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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