so that wasnt chicken after all
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
