Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
