You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
