ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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