69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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