Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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