I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
