he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
