tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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