Please, let me fuck your mom
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
