How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
