i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
