Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
