She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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