I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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