I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
