I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
