last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
