Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
