hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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