I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I love having hate sex.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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