so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize