Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
