why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There's always time for handjobs
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
